{"id":1084,"date":"2025-05-11T10:27:02","date_gmt":"2025-05-11T10:27:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/evenwiser.com\/?p=1084"},"modified":"2025-08-27T16:55:29","modified_gmt":"2025-08-27T16:55:29","slug":"despair-or-maintain-motivation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evenwiser.com\/en\/despair-or-maintain-motivation\/","title":{"rendered":"Despair or stay motivated?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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How do we deal with adversity? What do we do when things don't go well for us? A failed test, a breakup, a health problem? Why do some people despair when faced with adversity and others manage to stay motivated?<\/p>\n

Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford University, developed a study in which she discovered that people have fixed mindset traits and others have growth mindset traits.<\/p>\n

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  • Fixed mindset is believing that we have innate characteristics, which we either have or we don't, and in a fixed quantity.<\/li>\n
  • Growth mindset is believing that we have characteristics that can be developed, through work, advice from others and also effort.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    In reality, we have a mix of both mindsets: I can have a growth mindset in certain areas, like learning to take photographs or play an instrument, but in other areas, like work or in some relationships, I can be very rigid and fixed.<\/p>\n

    This does not mean that people do not have different abilities and talents, but rather that everyone can grow and develop their abilities.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Why is this distinction between mentalities important?<\/strong> Because in the face of obstacles, continuing to grow and learn is essential: the way we deal with adversity greatly influences the happiness with which we live.<\/p>\n

    How then can we discover our mindset?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    If we have a fixed mindset, we find it terrible to fail because we are convinced that our capabilities are limited and there is nothing we can do, whereas if we have a growth mindset, we accept challenges to grow and learn from failures.<\/p>\n

    We have to pay attention to our inner conversation: what happens when I see someone who is doing something really well? Do I feel envious? Do I feel frustrated? Or do I feel inspired and want to be the same?<\/p>\n

    What happens when I have an obstacle in front of me? Do I think I'm going to fail, look stupid, or reveal who I really am? Or do I think I'll figure out a way to overcome it?<\/p>\n

    What happens when I'm given a new task? Do I get frustrated because I don't know how to solve it right away, or do I throw myself into the hope of learning new things?<\/p>\n

    The problem is that we are often convinced that we either have a talent or we don\u2019t. And that learning something shouldn\u2019t require any effort\u2026<\/p>\n

    Veteran conductor Benjamin Zander says that when he was just 11 years old, he was frustrated because he couldn\u2019t play the cello well, until his 83-year-old conductor quipped: \u201cWhat?!? You\u2019ve been playing for 3 minutes and you still can\u2019t play that song?\u201d<\/p>\n

    It served as a lesson, but how many times have we fallen prey to this suffocating demand? We forget that learning something takes a lot of time and work. The fact that you have to work hard to achieve something doesn't mean you're stupid or bad!

    Let's think about geniuses we admire. Whether in their work, music or life, we're likely to discover when we delve deeper into their story how much effort they all put in.<\/p>\n

    We all have to strive to learn and grow.<\/p>\n

    We must create a culture of celebrating progress, not perfection.<\/strong>! Lembremos uma escola em Chicago que a nota que dava aos alunos que n\u00e3o passavam no exame: em vez de chumbado, era \u201cNot yet\u201d, ainda n\u00e3o! Como uma ligeira mudan\u00e7a de linguagem pode abrir esperan\u00e7a e possibilidades!<\/p>\n

    We certainly like to get it right the first time, but how wonderful it is to always be improving a little bit instead of trying to get everything right straight away!<\/p>\n

    Let\u2019s imagine that I\u2019m learning to play the guitar. How different would the experience be if every time I failed I said, \u201cOh my gosh, I can\u2019t do it!\u201d instead of thinking about each new chord: \u201cI\u2019m getting better and better, how great!\u201d<\/p>\n

    We should praise and encourage the process, the learning journey, not just the end. And what is the point of getting to the end if we live in a nightmare until then?<\/p>\n

    So how can we develop a growth mindset?<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Here are 3 simple tips for you to use next time:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. When I see someone successful, instead of envying them, I think \u201cwhat can I learn?\u201d, how can this person inspire me?<\/li>\n
    2. After something went wrong, write the<\/em> lessons learned, what did I take away from this experience? (writing is more than just thinking, it helps to retain learning)<\/li>\n
    3. Between something safe and a challenge, risk the challenge!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Let us recall the beautiful story of two shoe salesmen who were sent to South Africa at the beginning of the 20th century. Some time later, two telegrams arrived at the company headquarters in Manchester: the first salesman wrote: \u201cDesperate situation, no one wears shoes!\u201d The second salesman wrote: \u201cGlorious opportunity: yet<\/em> \u201cNobody wears shoes!\u201d<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      How do we deal with adversity? What do we do when things don't go well? A failed test, a breakup, a health problem? Why do some people despair in the face of adversity, while others manage to stay motivated? Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford University, conducted a study in [\u2026]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1492,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-awareness-inteligencia-emocional-e-bem-estar"],"yoast_head":"\nDesesperar ou manter a motiva\u00e7\u00e3o? - Even Wiser<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/evenwiser.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1084\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Desesperar ou manter a motiva\u00e7\u00e3o? - Even Wiser\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Como lidamos com a adversidade? 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