Have you ever thought about talking to someone else at an event in the hope of meeting someone more interesting?

Have you ever felt down seeing friends in amazing places on social media while you're home alone?

Or have you ever cancelled plans at the last minute because something better came up, only to regret it later?

We do this because we suffer from FOMO – fear of missing out – fear of being left out, of missing out on something better.

Why do we feel this way and how can we overcome it?

Living with FOMO brings anxiety, envy and sadness into our lives, but why do we feel it?

• Human need to be included, of belonging to a group. I want to be with the best group, the best company, and I'm afraid of being excluded. Would we get FOMO if we lived on a desert island?
• We compare our lives with others and we worry about what we might be missing. The social networks we love to consult only create additional pressure: Is everyone having fun except me?
• Fear of regret creates doubt. We like to keep everything open, we don't know what's best... It's hard for us to leave other things aside: when I choose a conversation, or a restaurant or a house, I'm leaving out all the other conversations, restaurants or houses... How do I know I won't regret it?

It's normal to feel the need to be included, to make comparisons or to be afraid of regret. This fear is normal, but it shouldn't be control our life.

How can we regain control and enjoy what we have?

1. Define the essentials: What is central and a priority in my life? Because as they say, we make time for what is a priority… for the rest, we make excuses. We must learn to set limits and know how to say “no”. As incredible as it may seem, not everything depends on us, we are not indispensable and things will happen even without us… (calm down, dear ego, calm down…)
2. Live whole and grateful: Fully enjoy what I have behind – a meal, a conversation – knowing that the problem is not that we have a full life, but that life is full of activities that are not well lived. If what I am experiencing is not good, life is long, I can try the restaurant or the other conversation next time. How can I cultivate gratitude in my heart? What good things have I had the opportunity to do that I can be thankful for?
3. Moving from digital to real: Reduce comparing yourself to others and wasting time on social media and create time for deep, positive relationships. If it’s easy to cancel a date by text message, find the courage to call the person and explain your reasons. We need to humanize our decisions and relationships. On the other side is someone real who counts on me. If I decide not to go to an event I wanted to, like a birthday party with a friend I like, I can always arrange to have lunch together instead so we can talk calmly.
4. Practice commitment. A given word is a true word. Novelty is always more appealing than fidelity, but we only grow in what we commit to: whether at work, in sports or in our family.

We must embrace the idea that it is impossible to be everywhere at once and that overcoming FOMO involves changing the way we think and live.

It doesn't mean that we never change our minds, but accepting that it's normal to feel divided and that we always have the opportunity to make special what we choose.

We can exchange the fear to lose by happiness to lose.

How wonderful it is to have so many programs and alternatives! How wonderful it is to also learn to let things go. Joy comes not from leaving everything open, but from being whole and committed to what we choose to do.

Next time I’m hit with FOMO anxiety, I can become aware of it and instead of bouncing between programs, I can fully commit to what I have.

You might be in for a nice surprise.

(if not… life goes on and I’m fine)