The culture of permanent social comparison gives us no respite: How is that person? And how am I? How satisfied can I be with my life?

Now, while for thousands of years each person compared themselves to the small circle of people they met – what is my neighbour in the village like? Does he have more cattle than me? And what is his family like? – today we live in a different, digital world. We see hundreds of other people every day, even though we feel less like neighbours to those around us.

It is important to recognize that comparison serves a natural purpose: understanding where I am in a given group, how I can improve and what is good about me. Comparison arises because it responds to our need to belong to a group, for recognition and validation, for growth and progression.

But like any natural behavior, the problem is not having it, it is letting ourselves be carried away by it. If we see who seems to be worse off, we feel better, if we see who seems to be better off, we feel worse. It is a dangerous game, in which in reality no one knows what is better or worse…

If we make these comparisons dozens of times a day – I wish I had that promotion, look at what a great vacation, look how successful you are… – we will be on an exhausting and dehumanizing path. So often our low self-esteem does not come from comparing ourselves, but because we have low self-esteem we compare ourselves!

We measure others by their external achievements, but we measure ourselves by internal criteria. Naturally, the difference is striking.

In organizations, we also fall into the trap of comparison: look at how successful they are, how everyone else is doing it... and by trying to follow those around us without criteria, we devalue our own culture and identity, we undermine the trust of people and teams and we forget what makes us unique and relevant.

Therefore, the comparisons we make make a difference in our personal and professional lives. Knowing that no one is immune to comparison, as Can we use this trend to our advantage?

• Recognize: what may seem enviable in others is just a carefully thought-out and edited image, nothing more. Behind every achievement or success there may be suffering or failure that we do not even suspect. And what seems good may be a golden trap, or what seems like a professional disgrace may turn out to be a glorious opportunity. Let us gain prudence and critical sense in the interpretations we make.
•  Re-use: Instead of worrying about what others have and what I don’t, I happily recognize where I’ve come and what I can learn from others. Comparing ourselves to others can inspire improvement, especially when we see models that seem achievable. Learning from those who are more mature in a certain area can help. Let’s take advantage of good examples without letting ourselves be overwhelmed by unbridled and futile comparisons.
•  Re-educate: If parents educate their children to constantly compare themselves to their peers and friends – see how he got a better grade? See how she does it? – it is no wonder that we see young people who are insecure and constantly socially anxious. Instead, we should educate them to develop self-esteem, responsibility and personal commitment. More than getting a certain grade, what matters is whether we did our best. Re-education involves moving from competition and external evaluation to collaboration and internal improvement.

Comparison is part of our nature. In times of overstimulation and excessive consumption of social media, we should be suspicious of pre-defined formulas for beauty or success. True achievement is not a popularity contest, but an inner battle that only we know how much it means.

It is important to re-cognize, re-educate and re-use what is authentic and unique about us: we are no longer a copy to repeat the successes or expectations of others. We are new and original.

Let us be confident that each of us has a unique voice and a unique contribution to make. Let us live it with authenticity and courage. That will be incomparable.